Raiding the kinder garden
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Raiding the kinder garden
by Jernsaxe » Mon Aug 21, 2006 6:32 pm
Had a little fun earlier writting and posting this on the general forums 
So a little about me and what inspired this post seems in place. For the last 1.5 year I’ve been playing WoW and been leading raids in 2 different guilds. Now just 2 months ago I started work as a kinder garden teacher. So today during my brake I got into philosophising a bit (read snoozing), and what I came up with was a great number of similarities between my two different aspects of life.
So here goes. All in all I figure you can compare a kinder garden to a raid group. This raid of course consists of different classes / roles. Generally as the teacher I see myself as the tank and healer, when the kids get nasty I have to tank, and when they fall and hurt themselves I whip out the band-aids and blow of the “booboo”. The kids can all be boiled down to the DPS, some more trigger happy then others, some are nasty rogues who will go behind your back and ask the other adults what you just told them they couldn’t do, others will be more straightforward and instead just “nuke” you with some nearby toy when you turn them down.
The average day works out pretty much like a raid as well. First we open, start invites and serve a little extra breakfast for the people who got there early. Then we have a few uneventful hours of playing very similar to too trash clearing. Then we arrive at the first boss encounter when we have to get the kids to sit down for the daily fruit. After some whining from the DPS who thinks this encounter favours another class more and 2-3 of them quitting the raid to go play something else we can get on with another hour of trash before the endboss encounter: LUNCH. This is where the healers and tanks really have their work cut out for them. At this point most the DPS is kinda grumpy, half of them had been afking until now doing whatever they pleased while the other half is tired from actually paying attention to “The Raid Leader” (more on “her” later). While the tanks try and keep overaggroing to a minimum the healers are running around trying to patch up the chases where the demanded 15 minutes of focus weren’t being meet. I have (secretly) named 3 of the kids Chrom, Huhuran and Faerlina, all noticeable for their ability to go berserk. In these chases “The Raid Leader” have several different abilities usable to sort the problems, since an actual tranq shot would get her fired she uses a range of potions (sweets) to get the DPS back in line.
After 15-30 minutes of whipes during lunch “The Raid Leader” decides its time to a brake, relax a bit and go over tactics for what follows. My kinder garden raid leader (aka. boss) calls this “Siesta”, yeah right … you try getting your raid to calm down for 30 minutes while you explain to them what they should be doing for the rest of the raid/day … add to this that the raid members just popped all their potions (food) and is pretty anxious to go blow off some steam, Siesta indeed. Only good thing about this is that it goes pretty smoothly afterwards, another few hours of minor problems and you get your price, in my chase I get off work (yay!). The minor problem I was talking about usually consists of a few horde gankers out to ruin my fun (I call them parents). These good for nothing *abouttogetsensored* insist that I should be delayed in enjoying my time off.
Furthermore there is off course different kinds of raids as well. A nice sunny day with half the kids off on vacation is what I’d call a nice Molten Core Raid. Sure it’s dull, but at least you don’t have to think. Then there is the rainy days … horror … raiding on days where people REALLY aren’t in the mood is never good, I’d take 5 hours Faerlina whipes over a rainy day in the kinder garden. All the tanks have put on their fire resist gear while the healers hide out far behind the raid knowing that if they get needed it’s probably too late anyway.
As we all know The Raid Leader ALLWAYS knows best. As it so happens my kinder garden leader is very similar to my IG raid leader, both are utter asswhipes. The Raid Leader have studied the encounter for 3 years and therefore is the only person to make valid decisions when it comes to controlling the raid DPS. Dare to take control of your own place in the raid and you are in for eather 30 minutes of hell, be it in whispers or the bitch’s office. Even a simple chase of DPS1 was hitting DPS2 have to be transformed into deeply rooted problems in DPS1/2’s past and its essential for the raids survival that this is dealt with though the professionalism of “The Raid Leader”.
And while I would off course love to keep this rant going this is when my boss told me my brake was over and that I was snoring …
So a little about me and what inspired this post seems in place. For the last 1.5 year I’ve been playing WoW and been leading raids in 2 different guilds. Now just 2 months ago I started work as a kinder garden teacher. So today during my brake I got into philosophising a bit (read snoozing), and what I came up with was a great number of similarities between my two different aspects of life.
So here goes. All in all I figure you can compare a kinder garden to a raid group. This raid of course consists of different classes / roles. Generally as the teacher I see myself as the tank and healer, when the kids get nasty I have to tank, and when they fall and hurt themselves I whip out the band-aids and blow of the “booboo”. The kids can all be boiled down to the DPS, some more trigger happy then others, some are nasty rogues who will go behind your back and ask the other adults what you just told them they couldn’t do, others will be more straightforward and instead just “nuke” you with some nearby toy when you turn them down.
The average day works out pretty much like a raid as well. First we open, start invites and serve a little extra breakfast for the people who got there early. Then we have a few uneventful hours of playing very similar to too trash clearing. Then we arrive at the first boss encounter when we have to get the kids to sit down for the daily fruit. After some whining from the DPS who thinks this encounter favours another class more and 2-3 of them quitting the raid to go play something else we can get on with another hour of trash before the endboss encounter: LUNCH. This is where the healers and tanks really have their work cut out for them. At this point most the DPS is kinda grumpy, half of them had been afking until now doing whatever they pleased while the other half is tired from actually paying attention to “The Raid Leader” (more on “her” later). While the tanks try and keep overaggroing to a minimum the healers are running around trying to patch up the chases where the demanded 15 minutes of focus weren’t being meet. I have (secretly) named 3 of the kids Chrom, Huhuran and Faerlina, all noticeable for their ability to go berserk. In these chases “The Raid Leader” have several different abilities usable to sort the problems, since an actual tranq shot would get her fired she uses a range of potions (sweets) to get the DPS back in line.
After 15-30 minutes of whipes during lunch “The Raid Leader” decides its time to a brake, relax a bit and go over tactics for what follows. My kinder garden raid leader (aka. boss) calls this “Siesta”, yeah right … you try getting your raid to calm down for 30 minutes while you explain to them what they should be doing for the rest of the raid/day … add to this that the raid members just popped all their potions (food) and is pretty anxious to go blow off some steam, Siesta indeed. Only good thing about this is that it goes pretty smoothly afterwards, another few hours of minor problems and you get your price, in my chase I get off work (yay!). The minor problem I was talking about usually consists of a few horde gankers out to ruin my fun (I call them parents). These good for nothing *abouttogetsensored* insist that I should be delayed in enjoying my time off.
Furthermore there is off course different kinds of raids as well. A nice sunny day with half the kids off on vacation is what I’d call a nice Molten Core Raid. Sure it’s dull, but at least you don’t have to think. Then there is the rainy days … horror … raiding on days where people REALLY aren’t in the mood is never good, I’d take 5 hours Faerlina whipes over a rainy day in the kinder garden. All the tanks have put on their fire resist gear while the healers hide out far behind the raid knowing that if they get needed it’s probably too late anyway.
As we all know The Raid Leader ALLWAYS knows best. As it so happens my kinder garden leader is very similar to my IG raid leader, both are utter asswhipes. The Raid Leader have studied the encounter for 3 years and therefore is the only person to make valid decisions when it comes to controlling the raid DPS. Dare to take control of your own place in the raid and you are in for eather 30 minutes of hell, be it in whispers or the bitch’s office. Even a simple chase of DPS1 was hitting DPS2 have to be transformed into deeply rooted problems in DPS1/2’s past and its essential for the raids survival that this is dealt with though the professionalism of “The Raid Leader”.
And while I would off course love to keep this rant going this is when my boss told me my brake was over and that I was snoring …
Why is the Devil evil, if he punishes the bad?
- Jernsaxe
- Veteran
- Posts: 272
- Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:17 pm
- Location: Copenhagen
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