Funny as hell
by Hinata » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:16 am
this is from gorbys drunken brother, long time ago..
i mean to send it to (mondragon) if u still troll this foroum..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-J9ZpQYW8s
i mean to send it to (mondragon) if u still troll this foroum..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-J9ZpQYW8s
Second Place is the First looser.
-
Hinata - Veteran
- Posts: 862
- Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:34 am
- Location: K.S.A
by Hinata » Tue Mar 25, 2008 6:23 am
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:
1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
------------ --------- ----
2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
------------ --------- ----
3).Customer: : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
------------ --------- ----
4).Customer: : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
------------ --------- ----
5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
------------ --------- ----
6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
------------ --------- ----
7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
------------ --------- ----
. Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
------------ --------- ----
9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
------------ --------- ----
10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
------------ --------- ----
11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
------------ --------- ----
12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
------------ --------- ----
13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
------------ --------- ----
14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
------------ --------- ----
15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
------------ --------- ----
16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem!
All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.
Letme know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
------------ --------- ----
17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
------------ --------- ----
2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
------------ --------- ----
3).Customer: : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
------------ --------- ----
4).Customer: : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
------------ --------- ----
5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
------------ --------- ----
6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
------------ --------- ----
7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
------------ --------- ----
. Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
------------ --------- ----
9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
------------ --------- ----
10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
------------ --------- ----
11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
------------ --------- ----
12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
------------ --------- ----
13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
------------ --------- ----
14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
------------ --------- ----
15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
------------ --------- ----
16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem!
All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.
Letme know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
------------ --------- ----
17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
Second Place is the First looser.
-
Hinata - Veteran
- Posts: 862
- Joined: Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:34 am
- Location: K.S.A
by Mell » Tue Mar 25, 2008 1:19 pm
haha I bet they're all real as well. When I was working at ComHem tech support and customer service I heard alot of weird shit. I got a customer who was like..
"The phone isnt working"
Me: Have you plugged in the modem correctly?
"Uuuhh.. I got this package.. should I open it?"
Me: ....
"The phone isnt working"
Me: Have you plugged in the modem correctly?
"Uuuhh.. I got this package.. should I open it?"
Me: ....
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Mell - Veteran
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- Location: Karlstad, Swe
by HArdy » Fri Mar 28, 2008 5:12 pm
Yunia i posted this on the last page u need to watch it
http://www.warcraftmovies.com/stream.ph ... am=Youtube
http://www.warcraftmovies.com/stream.ph ... am=Youtube
- HArdy
- Veteran
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- Location: Nottingham, England
by Rageaholic » Sat Mar 29, 2008 11:25 pm
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose.
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